its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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