I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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