You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
