I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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