i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
