My brain says no but my pants say off.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
