I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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