Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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