We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
