your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
