I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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