why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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