i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
