if you like me you must not know who I am
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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