I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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