All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize