You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize