wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
