I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize