We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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