if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
