i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
