so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
