I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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