Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The beer is more important than you right now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
