Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
