I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
