im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
