You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
