she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
