I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
