a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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