discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
