We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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