No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
