Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
