a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
