there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
