She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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