Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
