that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This baby is an asshole
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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