$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize