If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
