I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
