i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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