I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
