he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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