no you cant smoke seaweed
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
