haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I cut my penus on the lid.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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