honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
