You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
