he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you never un-have a 4some
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
