Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
