Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
