nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize