If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
