Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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