I wannas sexs uuuuu
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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