check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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