Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize