Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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(678): View more from Georgia

he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.

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(425): View more from Washington

couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

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(636): View more from Missouri

Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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(614): View more from Ohio

at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.

Fav 9 2049 1373
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(301): View more from Maryland

do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

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(720): View more from Colorado

All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?

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