so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
