need another drink. this is the easiest way
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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