Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
