my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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