You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize