You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
