i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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