He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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