I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
